I don't know the exact meaning of kyonki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi, as to which context it has been coined for the serial, nor have I ever cared to watch it.
Recently I had series of altercations with my teenage daughter. While I know teenage is such that the children throw a different kind of attitude but I know it more from a theoretical point of view than from an experiential point of view. What I mean by this is, I really don't remember whether I was ever a typical teenager. Yes of course, I used to fight with my dad (silently though, never got courage to say anything against him directly) I don't remember him saying my age was like that.
Even if he had had some issues with me, he would manage it the way he did. But that doesn't mean he had experience of doing that.
I know it is confusing to understand and even more difficult to articulate but I will try.
Though I was the third child of my father, it was FIRST TIME HE WAS THE FATHER OF THE THIRD CHILD (male). Though he had seen two of his children doing certain things before, it was the FIRST TIME HE WAS HANDLING ME.
Experience is basically drawing inferences in parenting and in life, isn’t it?
All this I realized recently when I had small altercations with my daughter. I thought she didn't have respect for me. It took me some time to realize that I was expecting THE kind of respect I wanted. Neither I tried to understand what her kind of respect is nor did I get what was an insult from her perspective. Both didn't have anything to do with what I had in my mind.
When I felt she insulted me, I stopped talking to her. I knew it was kiddish but I thought I would punish her in a way that she would understand. But like her, even I went through agony of not talking to her for 3 - 4 days. She wouldn't express it but something would definitely go thr' her. I know what went through me.
All that while I was thinking how come my father was more tolerant of me, more strategic than me to handle me better. My life proved his mastery as I always listened to him, I didn't take a wrong path in life etc.
But then, it was first time for him as well. Perhaps he was drawing better inferences from his life.
It is first time that I am a father to a teenage daughter. She looks up to me as someone who is experienced. Does she know that it is my first time? But still she looks up to me.
I have to draw inferences from life. That’s the only thing that separates from me to her.
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